This lady works with us at the MOE canteen. She is a Singaporean but she comes to work each day with a scowl and frown on her face that digs deeper and deeper into the creases of her face as each day passes. We talked every now and then, about work, about life, and just about anything under the sun, whenever there is a little time off between work. She is now past 60 and she is still working hard every day, even though she has a daughter working in Australia at the moment.
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One day, she told me that she is so tired of her work. She has to work so hard, sweep the floor, clean the place up, wipe the table etc... etc... and she envies all the office workers who just just eats and get on with life. I could literally feel her tiredness as I look at her and feel sorry for her. She said that that she laments the fact that she wasn't given the opportunity to study as her family was not well off and that she was not born smart, intelligent and into a rich family like the others she sees working in the office building where we work. She said that in her next life, she want to marry a rich man so that she never has to work ever again?
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I always tell her that what she sees is not always what she gets. I have seen people dressed up really well and driving a nice car who are actually quite broke. I have seen people who dress up in "rags" but have hordes of cash. In fact, in China, many rich people live a very humble life. It is the newer generation of younger people, who are so engrossed with buying branded goods, who value looking "rich" rather than being really "rich"! I have a Singaporean friend who once tried to help me find a job and introduced me to a lady who runs a beauty salon. She was elegant, and drives a Mercedes Benz. Recently, I heard from my friend that she is really broke and even borrowed money from her. What price do we have to pay to look good??? My friend was quite upset because this lady refuses to give up her Mercedes Benz and branded goods but expects her friends to lend her money to maintain her "high society" image!
Which makes me wonder? Is life really that easy? Every girl wants to marry the man of her dreams. Her Prince Charming to be exact. He must have a house, lots of money, be good looking, intelligent and yet have a good heart (Singaporeans often refer to it as the 5 "C"s). Well, if there is really such a person, what makes you think you are good enough for him anyway? And even if you were good enough for him in your youth, what makes you think it is going to last, if the "beauty" does not??? Afterall, despite medical advances, you still cannot beat mother time!
Do these "prince charming" people exists only in fairy tales like Cinderella?
It is important to be happy with the life we have, not spend all of our time wishing we had a different life.
ReplyDeleteThe bird in the sky, the bee on the flower, the fish in the ocean, they all know to enjoy the life they have. Are we humans REALLY the highest form of life ? Why is it so difficult for us to be happy ?
Very nicely written. This "poor" lady should do something concrete to turn her life around instead of lamenting her plight. The trick is to enjoy the simple things in life; just like the bees and birds (as pointed out by your reader), instead of making comparisons. I suppose the 5Cs is the equivalent of "security" that everyone aspires to achieve. Its not a measurement of success per se but certainly some goals that anyone can hope to attain at certain point in their lives. Its good to have some goals in life otherwise, we'll be wandering around unproductively, right?
ReplyDeleteI am like one of those young typical office workers.
ReplyDeleteI have a 9-6 job, works Mon-Fri and sometimes Saturdays, I earn reasonably enough (not too rich nor too poor), I get to dine at nice places in the weekend eveninsg after work; yet, I am still not happy.
In fact, I think the old auntie may be luckier than me. I have alot of job stress especially from my boss that makes me want to quit many times. This is what they call as Management level. I cannot do this, I cannot do that. Every small step is just like walking of burning coals: everytime and everything I do will get scolding because the bosses always think they are right and always want face. So if they have to put the blame on me and scold me, they will do it. Day in and day out its always being scolded till very bad; this is psychological nightmare. No one likes to be scolded for every little thing they do that is not their fault. But I am in this situation.
On the other hand, the old auntie only need to clean tables and clean up leftover dishes, she do not have to face the wrath of unreasonable customers, demanding bosses and picky colleagues. Also, low salary means lesser responsibility. Sometimes I wish to downgrade and get a lower salary job to get rid of this psychological nightmare. It is not about the money some times. Money cannot buy long term happiness.
I may get to eat at good places or buy nice clothes and handbags, but I am not happy because of the stress and fear I face in my job.
Our stress are the same, the old auntie never seen it so she thinks its better. Like the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side.